My drive

I live in a small town. I work in a small town. I have a lovely drive to and from each. This beats all the traffic mess I used to drive in. Like last night, I was meeting some of the girls for dinner downtown and had forgotten how incredibly crazy traffic was around the metroplex. Took me forever to get there and when I did, a northern had finally blown in and it was definitely Fall, Y'all! It was so fun to run through downtown to the restaurant in my heels and cute sweater over my dress. Movie-esque. Dinner was delicious and the company was better. Oh, how we laughed.

At home I got to snuggle up with my love and some fur-balls to watch tv. It was a nice evening.

It's almost Thanksgiving and we know not what we will be doing. First time ever. I like it.

Ciao for now.

~Shan

Uninspired

Friday I was completely uninspired to blog about anything. I thought for a moment, as I drove out of the office parking lot for lunch, about one thing that I could write about and that I was anxious to write about. It slipped my mind before I got back. I have always liked that phrase, it slipped my mind. It reminds me of my grandmother. I don't recall her ever saying it but I presume it is one she must of said. Never-the-less, it reminds me of her.
Friday night I got things ready for the Haslet Hustle 5k and Aaron had to work late, again. I was very impressed with myself that I got so much done ahead of time. Then I made dinner for us; spaghetti with sausage and lightly toasted bread. Yum. He loved it. That's the goal.
Saturday got up very early, got ready, prepared the fruit for the 5k run, loaded everything up in the truck, put everything out and then set up at the elementary school for our run. It was very cold, which sucked, because it's been unseasonably warm until that morning and then warm again shortly after the run. Punk Mother-Nature. Totally could have been worse, so I guess I am over it. The only things I wish I would have done differently (and hope to remember to do better next year) are: 1. Load the tables, chairs, etc into the truck the night before, & 2. Actually tabulate the winners correctly! Wow! That was embarrassing. Still uncertain where the ball got dropped but since that part is ultimately on me, it is my blame to take.
On a good note, Aaron ran it again and got 2nd in his age group. Also, we had 71 runners this year. A lot less than last year but since it was so cold, I think it was a good turn out.
After the run, I put things away, went to pay storage and then rearranged things so that we could empty one unit all-together. Later, Aaron, Skyler and I went back up there to load up and take the rest to Decatur. Through the weekend they got most of it done but we have one small load left. That night we went to dinner in North Side and I had the best ribs ever at H3. I love being down there. So much so, that we went again the next day with Tracy and Jen to the stock sale at Cowtown Coliseum. It was only bucking stock so that was a bummer. Even though I would love to have a saddle-bronc, Aaron is having none of that.
We left and went to eat an awesome lunch at Gloria's and then had yogurt for dessert. After, Aaron and Skyler took more storage to Decatur and I went back to the sale and then home for the Cowboy game. We won!!! Finally! We're 2 & 7. :( But we won!
Then AF and I went back to North Side for our fave...North Side Tacos. Went to bed early, too. Yea, us!
Monday was crazy! Boring day at work until Marnie got a message from her Dallas Cowboy asking if she wanted to get together for a first date Monday Night Football game. Duh! yep!
So I watched the girls, had pizza, watched football then a movie until she got home on her Cloud 9 float. We're going to the game again Sunday. Yippee!!!!!
Aaron had MUCH drama with his job but it all got quelled and I think he is significantly de-stressed about the situation. We shall see. He worked out again and I didn't so I have even more catching up to do. He is so amazing and inspirational to me. He makes me want to try harder. :)

Happy Veteran's Day!

You see that boy right there next to me? His name is Richie. Or, Clint, which he likes to be called since he became an adult. Even though he's only slightly younger than I am, he'll forever be my lil Richie. He is my oldest nephew; my oldest brother's oldest child. As of two weeks ago, Richie is in Afghanistan and he won't be home until sometime next summer. He's been over there before, too. He wears desert camo, he carries a gun and knows how to fix all kinds of stuff like tanks, hummers & water wells. He is married to a very sweet girl named Amanda and they have two little boys, Eric & Wyatt. The three of them are patiently awaiting his return all alone in Michigan, where I think it is just too cold for humans to live so they must be robots or something. All their family on both sides live pretty far away.

Richie has a great laugh and he is one of the best I have ever seen at starting a campfire. He is adventurous and hard working. He is so fun to play basketball with. He tells incredible stories. He will never leave you hanging and is almost always one of the first ready to help without even being asked. He taught me cool stunts on our bikes when we were kids. He was a cherry picking fool! He taught me how to play Texas Hold 'em. The things he has done and the stories he has told have made me laugh so hard.

One time he drove all the way down to Austin just to see me when I lived there without any family around. One of my fondest memories of him was the first time I saw him after he'd been married and they had a toddling baby. Richie was on all fours with little Eric on his back, playing and making Eric giggle. Then later he changed Eric's diaper. I never thought I'd see that tough guy be so gentle with a child. I remember just staring in amazement at how my little nephew had become a man. A daddy. It brings tears to my eyes. He is a gifted writer and wrote a beautiful tribute to my grandmother when she passed. He is thoughtful, loving and quiet.

We are counting the days until Richie comes home. We are grateful for his sacrifices and for the sacrifices of so many others. We are grateful for our freedoms.

Godspeed, Richie.

My place

And by that, I don't mean barefoot in the kitchen. Ba dum ching. (Aaron would be rolling is eyes right about now.)
Nope, my place is Grand Canyon. I have said this before, and I know it sounds cheesy-cause it is, but it beckons me. No other place does that unless there is a human that I love who just happens to live there, too. So then not the place but the person does the beckoning.
I can just be plowing through my days, haven't given it a thought in a while and then suddenly I am overcome with this feeling to go there. To smell it, to feel the hot sun on me and the rocks, to listen to the wind that sounds different there than any other place I've been, to watch intently for a condor and then take a deep breath when I have found her and just watch her do her gliding dance in the sky. That perfect, deep blue sky. I feel like a part of me is alive only there and after each visit, this special place in my soul is given a refill to last through some more of the roller coaster of life.
I feel like nobody understands it the way I do. Even the people whose books I have read; those that have dedicated large parts of their lives to study/hike/map/live it, I find something amiss with them as well. I am arrogant about it but quietly so. I think I only ever tell Aaron about the wrongness of these others that, maybe, I am a LITTLE bit jealous of, too.
When I hear of someone going all the way there just to stand on the rim, take a few pictures and then visit the gift shop, I think, "you fool!" But then I am instantly satisfied as well because that is one less person who has looked deep inside and found an ounce of what it has to offer to the world. It's one less person who has muddled it up with a chewed piece of gum, a broken branch from their off-the-trail footfall, or stupidly become mad at it for not being all that they had hoped it would be. So by not discovering more of it, they have left more for me.
To me, it is the most beautiful photograph I have ever seen. It is the most relaxed I could ever get. It is the most I have ever pushed myself. It is literally a place where I learned about who I am and what I am made of. Where I have been able to learn to work through pain to achieve my goal. To dream big and do what you set out to do.
I remember when I turned 25 and I wrote in my journal that I had not yet climbed my canyon. Well I am now 36 and I have climbed my canyon. Lots of times. I was with exactly the person in the whole history of the world I would want to be with the very first time my feet were in that awesome brown water at the very bottom of that canyon. I have watched the faces of people I adore as they stared upon its beauty for the first time. That melts my heart! The stars are better, the sunsets are better, the sand smells better, everything is better when I am there. It has stirred more music, lyrics and poetry within me and been my inspiration more so than anything but that man I love.
Now, I am going to put pencil to paper and decide when I can go again. It will not be soon enough.

What he does.

I know this picture is so gross. I took it at the breakfast bar of a hotel this weekend where we met our friends before we went to our friend's dad's funeral. I had never seen one before and I was instantly in love. I just got a fabulous recipe for french toast that you grill in the waffle maker, too, so yeah-perfect timing!
What I didn't know was that Mr. Ferrell was instantly on ebay via iphone and he bought me one on the spot!!!! He didn't tell me until after the funeral. So sweet. Then, later that night, we went to dinner and on the way downtown he told me that I had very good taste. He was initially speaking of the type of horse I want that we have been pouring over the internet for and can't find. But then he said he thought I had good taste in everything; the way I dress, the way I decorate our house for everyday and then for holidays. He said I have style. I felt so good. That was so wonderful to hear from him. You have no idea how it made my day! Week! Year!
Also, about a month ago I was reading someone's post who talked about the beauty of being loved for just who you are. I feel loved every day. I feel very grateful for the way he shows love to me...and for the ways other friends show love to me. I do feel loved. But, almost like he was reading my mind that night when I got home, he was talking about a mistake I had made and he said that he wouldn't have me any other way. That he loves me just as I am and he really likes the quirky part of me that makes mistakes. It feels so good to know, to have someone actually tell you, that you are wonderful to them and they love you because of everything about you, not in spite of.
I'm here to tell you that this man & I have been through some tough stuff together. Sometimes, I am amazed that we were able to stick it out. I am so glad we did because I have never seen him the way I see him now. I thought I loved him more than I ever could in the beginning of our relationship. I was wrong. I love him so much more now. I understand him so much more now. I find peace and beauty in so much more now. I still have my hang-ups (and they are mine, not his,) and I still wonder sometimes if we make the right decisions about things. But I love him so much and I am over the moon about how he makes me feel. He makes me feel like the universe is ours again. Like it felt when he swept me off my feet and asked me to go through this journey with him.
Summer would never be so welcome and wonderful if you never knew the long, cold winter.
I save my gushings for him usually. I don't post it on facebook. I don't brag to all my friends. But today I am saying it for everyone to hear. I love Aaron!!!! Life is more beautiful when there is love.

Here again.

I haven't been at this weight for years. I am over my maximum allowed and even over the previous (even heavier) maximum allowed weight I had set for myself years ago. I am not sure why I have been going down the road I have been. Other than being a bit out of my normal routine, so we have not worked out near as often as we used to, I have just been on this wacky cupcake kick. And as everyone knows, when you are eating healthy foods, you crave healthy foods more. Same is true for garbage. That's all I want. So the post I had a few months ago about thinking I was back....yeah, not so much! As a matter of fact, I went the extreme opposite direction.

I had a meltdown about it last night. I ran a slow 5k and felt like I might die. Felt so bad afterward, I didn't eat dinner because my stomach was upset. Somehow, I weighed more this morning than I did for the past two days. This is the part I hate! Running was so hard last night and I know it is because I have this extra weight to pack around. I'm so tired of saying I am going to get back to my usual self. I gained more this past 6 months than I ever have in that time frame. All I can do is go day by day and make the right decisions every time I am offered a decision to make.

I am in a place I don't want to be in right before the holidays. I am lacking self control big time right now. Even as I type this, while my pants are tight on my thighs and my waistband is cutting into me, all I can think about is eating the rice crispy treat I bought yesterday. For years I have been in a different mental state, where I knew when to leave this stuff alone and I could just do it. I don't know how to get my head back there. I feel like nothing will work. I ran until it hurt last night. I wanted to walk so badly but I pressed on thinking that I would feel or see some small result today. When I woke up feeling even worse and looking worse and then I saw that stupid number on the scale, that was it. I was instantly, mildly depressed.

Then on top of that, when I got to work, I was bombarded with emails about errors I had made on files from when I first moved over here. Granted I did not know the system and the training was horrible (even they admit that,) but it still added to my mood and now here I am on a beautiful Friday feeling like someone just kicked my favorite dog. Worse even. Blah.

Did that just happen?

So basically I was floored when I opened the door one morning and October showed up. People say it all the time but truly, time flies. I wasn't prepared for October and to prove it, my husband just complained yesterday about how he had to get evil with some clients on billing because they had not paid since May and it really took me a minute to figure out that May was quite a while ago. The moment before that realization I was questioning why he was so mad about past due from May since that was only 15 -wait!- 153 days ago. Ok, he can be mad.

Even more troubling is that now October has already packed its bags and hit the road for another year. I was very sad on November 1st because I hadn't even settled in with my beloved Halloween decorations and already it is time for them to collect dust in the opossum's attic.


Here is a brief update of what went on in my life in October. It was a really cool month, by the way. I enjoyed every fleeting moment of it. Really I did!






I got my hair done for the fist time in months. I love it! My friend April does my hair. I say that like I've known her forever and she just does my hair, too. I met her when I was in a panic for a new do and my usual girl, who is an hour drive away anyway, was always full up. So April became my new girl and she just started at a new salon in Old Town Keller in an updated, super cute, old house. They took old doors and put mirrors on them and I loved it! I have some old doors that Mr. Ferrell and I bought a long time ago and haven't figured out what to do with. Now we have an idea for one of them. Yea, us! April trimmed me, high-lighted me and gave me some kerotine treatment to take the frizz out (it totally worked) and now I am looking good!

I spent a lot of time watching Mr. Ferrell do things in October like, help build our new horse fence, work on computers, win a race in his stock car, and play with the fake bow and arrow from my Halloween costume. I was the wicked witch of the wild west. I love his butt and his flat stomach and his bicep all perked up and his chest but he had just moved his arm up right before I took this picture. Bummer! Aaron Ferrell...he's so cuuute! (If you were a Family Ties fan, you get the reference.)

Also, that dude I live with drove me all around the neighboring counties looking for giant pumpkins for sale to compare his giant pumpkins' growth. He wins! I always enjoy being the passenger and getting to look at all the beautiful trees, animals and clouds as we cruise along. I especially loved this set of clouds and felt very poetic as I watched them.

I got to meet Demarcus Ware (my favorite Cowboy) and Miles Austin and Tashard Choice at a breast cancer awareness event. Then my bud Marnie and I got awesome seats to the Monday Night game!!!!! We had a blast even though we lost. I love that she makes the best of things no matter what! Love love love her!

More amazing than all of that is that the Texas Rangers won the American League Championship against the Yankees and went to the WORLD SERIES!!!!! October 22, 2010 was one of my top 100 best days! This is an amazing team; an awesome group of guys and I am so proud of them! Yea Rangers!

Then to polish off the month, we had our annual Halloween party, Ferrell Fest! My niece, Alex, came in to town and a bunch of our friends and family (71 of them) came over to celebrate with us. Aaron took everyone on haunted hay rides, we had an awesome bounce house from my friend, Travis and of course a dj since the band thing is not working out too well. The food was great, the costumes were awesome and we had a fabulous time! Even better, Sunday was actually Halloween so we got to celebrate some more. Aaron took our neighborhood kids around on with the tractor on another hay ride so they could trick-or-treat and I stayed home to hand out candy at Spooky Ferrell Hollow. We really do go all out for this holiday and we have so much fun with it.

It's officially Fall round these parts. I'm a Summer lover so I have to make some adjustments to enjoy this time of year. Mostly just bundling up and making sure that there are extra sweaters everywhere, like in my truck, his truck, my office, everywhere! It's waaaay below 70 degrees here now and I am freezing!

Happy Fall y'all!

~Shan

Crazy, lazy Daisy

This is our sweet, super-stinky, adorable dog, Daisy. I have hundreds of blurry pictures of this dog because she is only still when she is asleep. She was so spastic when we first got her that we couldn't even pet her. What a wiggle worm!

Aaron found her smack dab in the middle of the road on a very hot July day. She was extremely malnutritioned and, as a result, her hind legs didn't work very well so she would drag them behind her as she walked. But soon, she fattened up and got healthy and now, years later, you would never know she was ever sickly.

She would trip over her ears, smack her face on the ground but get back up, completely unfazed. When she was little Aaron and I would play with her in the living room with a tennis ball. He would throw it a few times and she'd chase it and, maybe, bring it back. Then he'd pretend to throw it and she would search for long minutes. It was so funny. For a hound dog, she is not too good at the hunting. Maybe her sniffer is broken.

She loves snacks. Our other dog, Mack, is really not that concerned about the snacks. He just wants love. But Daisy's primary daily goal is to get some snacks.

Also, she used to be a chicken eater but has since changed her ways and we are perplexed as to why. She now shares her part of the yard, dog house and water bowl with our hen, World's Smallest Chicken, and we can't figure out why this chicken. Is it because she is smaller? She looks more like a large dove than a chicken. Is it because the hen is confused and thinks she is a rooster sometimes? (She does crow on occasion!) Whatever the reason, Daisy and World's Smallest Chicken get along just fine. Better than fine. They appear to really like each other.

Daisy is one of the absolute cutest creatures I have ever had the pleasure of knowing. I'm so glad Aaron saved her that day and that we decided to keep her when we picked her up from the vet's office. That was the day our little farm started to grow.

Hands

I have always remembered peoples' hands. I have always paid attention to them. I adore Aaron's hands. I love how strong they are. I love the way his fingernails look. I love his hands when they are dirty even. (I like to talk like Snagglepuss and put "even" on the end of sentences.) When his hands are dirty, he has been doing things that he loves most in the world: gardening, working on race cars, building stuff, etc. I love to feel his hand in mine. I love to watch his hands work or type or dial a phone. I love his hand on top of my steering wheel in my car, while he drives me around and we listen to fun music. I could describe every detail of his hands from memory. I know each finger, every vein, all the scars and lines. I really love to kiss his hands which he never lets me do unless he has just washed them. Luckily he washes his hands often.

ponies and horse power

Here on Ferrell Farm, we have race cars and all sorts of make-a-racecar-go-faster paraphernalia mixed among our animals. Our pony, cleverly named Ninja Pony, has taken a shine to hanging out in the shop while Farmer Ferrell works his magic. I don't know if he likes the way his hooves sound on the smooth concrete, if he prefers the stagnate air in the shade of the shop over the breezy shade under a tree, or he simply wants to chill with the dudes. Whatever it is, if the guys are in the shop, operating any variety of loud power tools or shooting sparks all over the place with a blow torch or a welder, Ninja Pony will be at the door of the shop watching all the while.

Ninja Pony likes to go fast. He is often spotted running figure eights or random circles around the back yard. Periodically he will buck and kick mid run. He has done this since he came to Ferrell Farm. I think he fits right in with the race cars. Maybe while he's lingering in the shop, he is dreaming of ways that he too can go faster.

This has nothing to do with race cars but Ninja Pony also likes to "give kisses," which consists of raising his nose up so I can kiss the top of his upper lip where it is soft. He also loves it when I share my sweet tea with him, and by share, I mean give him the rest. He is a slobbering fool over sweet tea. When I go out with my trusty snake finding flashlight to put him in his corral at night, Ninja Pony will gently move along as long as I sing to him. If I fail to softly sing something pleasant, he will take off running away from the corral and make me chase him. I hate that because it is very difficult to spot snakes in the dark with a flashlight while running before you are actually on top of them. So I always sing.

Leaving Ninja Pony out of his corral all night is not an option. Unattended, he will kick, stomp, & head-butt his way into the feeding cans and eat-probably until he dies-all of the sweet feed, chicken corn and rabbit feed he can get his short head at. Then he will kick at the rabbit cage to try to get at the rabbit feed in there. No, no! Every night, Ninja Pony goes up.

That is all about Ninja for now. I have lots of stories, pictures and some video about his antics. I will have to post them here and there as we go along. Happy Tuesday!

Ten years. A decade. A long time. An era in my life.

This was me exactly ten years ago in Jamaica mon! Gretchen & I had gone on a trip together...the last one alone because after this trip we both got hooked up with our future husbands. So it was Sunday, September 10, 2000. We flew home that day from Montego Bay. I remember seeing Texas Stadium as we circled the airport to land. It was kind of a rough flight and I was not feeling well. We swung by Walgreens and then went to Gretchen's apartment to rest. Aaron and I had talked the day I was leaving for Jamaica and decided to hang out when I got back. No big deal, no date; Gretchen was even supposed to go along. But she didn't feel well and decided to bail. I guess he was thinking that way because he came over on his super cool, green Kawasaki Zephyr and brought along an extra helmet. No way the three of us were fitting on that thing (cause this ain't India) so it was just us two. Let me just say that he was my very first crush in high school. I thought about him several times since then, wondered what he was doing, who he was with if anybody, what his life was like...and it was soooo good to open the door of her apartment and see him standing there. So good! So many things I remember about that day: the bird he found, my toenail polish matching his bike, looking at pictures on my first ever, pretty crappy digital camera, getting gas at the Chevron on Precinct Line and 183 that is no longer there, so many things. Then we went downtown to watch a movie at the Palace. He got sour patch kids and we both had cokes. We were both addicted to cokes. That has changed over the years and now we are addicted to diet coke along with the rest of the white folks in America. After the movie, we got back on his bike, he told me funny stuff about himself and Chris Mitchell riding motorcycles and I will never forget how it felt to be on that bike riding through downtown Fort Worth in the warm September night air. The whole time I had been hanging on to the bar on the back of the bike and before we got on the highway, he explained how I needed to be holding on to him for safety sake. ;) He said even Chris holds on to him when they have been on one bike. So I did and I didn't admit that I had wanted to the whole time.

I noticed he was driving slower than he should have been and was taking the back roads back to Gretchen's. Finally he stopped at a light and asked if I had to get back then or did I want to see his boat instead. No brainer. Boat. I really really really liked this guy for a long time in high school. I looked up to him and he was larger than life to me. The night before I moved to Austin, I was staying at Gretchen and Cody's apartment (they had just gotten married and I hadn't realized until now how short their marriage was) and I had this mini meltdown about moving. Was I doing the right thing? Was this the avenue I was really supposed to be on? Lots of questions. For some reason, thoughts of Aaron Ferrell kept persisting in my mind. Even though I was moving to Austin with my long term boyfriend, I couldn't stop thinking about Aaron. I looked up his number in the phone book (funny) and begged Gretchen to call him and pretend she was me. She told me that if she was going to pretend to be me, why didn't I just call myself? So we called and got no answer and hung up after something like three rings. Of all the people in the whole wide world, I wonder why he was the one I wanted to call before I moved on to another big phase of my life. People take for granted how big a deal it is to move away from everything you have ever known to a new town, new surroundings, unknown things around every corner, new people, new job, having to make new friends, new clients, find new favorites. It's exciting and wonderful but also crazy scary. And before I took that step, he was the tie holding me back. I digress. So because of allll of this, I didn't want to show him any of my cards. I was trying to play it cool which is pretty hard for me to do.

So we went to his boat. He told me that he had just gone out on the lake with his aunt that day. And then later, he scratched the name "Cumulus" off of the back of it. It was the boat's name when he bought it. He said he had never named any of his boats before. He handed me his cd folder and I flipped through, finding so many great cd's that would be fun to listen to but then I saw Kelly Willis and I knew this guy was cool. I was so excited! At the time, nobody knew about her except her following in Austin and a few scattered people who watched her on Austin City Limits. So we listened to Kelly croon some of Bruce's songs while we teetered in the slip on Eagle Mountain Lake. Across the way, at Porky's, people were faintly singing and talking on the balcony and the wind blew the leaves of the nearby cottonwood tree. It was a beautiful night. He told me that his favorite movie was Sandlot and that he was embarrassed about it. I thought it was cute and we watched it while we drifted off to sleep. When I woke up, it was 6 in the morning! I knew that Gretchen was going to kill me. My cell phone had died and she didn't know his number. Also, it was miserably cold in his boat. He had the ac cranked down and I was about to freeze to death. So I woke him up and told him I had to use his phone and I had to go. I called Gretchen and she, of course, was panicked. She said she was up for hours trying to find his mother's number to call and find out where we were. I felt so horrible. Everything worked out ok and she forgave me.

Then he drove me back on his motorcycle and I went home to Austin. There are lots of little fun things I like to remember about that part, but that was a new day and I am only talking about this one today.

Those were some of the happiest days of my life and I hope I never forget them. It has brought back so many feelings just writing this out. It has reminded me of so much and I am grateful. My life was forever changed on that day. There have been some hard times when I know that both of us wanted to give up. But somehow, we both never wanted to give up on the same day and the one who didn't want to give up pulled the other one through. There have been some magical times, too. Lots of beautiful, wonderful days. And I truly believe that those magical times could not have happened if it weren't for both of us together. Nobody else could have done that for me.

Aaron is passionate just like me. He is hardworking and diligent. He is smart and funny. He makes me want to try harder. He has given me so much. Life is more beautiful because of him. Not just for me but for so many people for whom he gives so much of himself. The love I feel from him makes me feel something beyond words and I love him very much.

I have always loved Thursdays

Picture #1 was sent to me yesterday by my adorable nephew, Matt. Attached to the picture was his greeting, "Hello from Horseshoe Bend!" Picture #3 was sent to me from my sweet nephew, Jason. They were there to finish spreading the ashes of their maternal grandparents at Lake Powell. Jason and I visited Horseshoe Bend together the year that my father-in-law passed away, 2007. It brightened my day immensely that they took the time to photograph part of my beloved canyon and send me the pictures. I wish I were there with them so I could smooch their faces off!

Picture #2 was sent to me by my crazy husband, Aaron, just this morning. He had an early flight to St. Louis and sadly I will not be able to meet him there. He will return late tonight though, so I am not too terribly sad about his absence. Most people don't know this about me but my dream job, as a child, was to be a steamboat captain on the mighty Mississippi. So anytime he crosses the river, he'll send me a picture of the moment. It has completely made my week that while I plug away here at my beautiful dark wood desk in itty bitty Keller, Texas, my loves are sending me pictures from their travels, each of them places I adore for certain reasons.

Tonight, I will go home alone to hang with my dogs, cats, bunny, pony, duck and chickens-each of us saddened just a bit because Farmer Ferrell will not be home with us until after we all hit the hay-to watch the very first, regular season game of the year! The ever returning Favre and his Vikings taking on the Saints in New Orleans. My money's on the reigning champs, just for the record. Like I said, I *have always* loved Thursdays. And so it continues.

I think, *I think,* I might be back in the zone.

So yesterday was far from productive at work. However! I ran 38 minutes last night after a park board meeting that was successful. I ran outside, in the 98 degree heat, after the sun went down, while listening to Weezer Radio on Pandora. After my run, I felt awesome! Better than I have after a run in a while. Tuesday night I ran 45 minutes at the gym and Monday night I ran 30 minutes at the gym. I dropped the two pounds I gained on my trip already. So I am .8 of a pound away from my maximum weight allowance which is pretty good considering I have been so lazy about working out all summer. Once I am back under my maximum allowance I will be happier and then I can focus on getting back to my goal, which is 10.8 pounds less than I am now. It used to be 16.8 pounds less than I am now, but I got there last year for a few months and everyone kept asking me if I was ok and constantly telling me to eat. Looking back at pix, I think they may have been right. So the 10.8 pounds less was a very good weight to be. Super thin, but not scarily so. That's the goal. But first, to get under the maximum. I think I need two, maybe three more days to do it safely. I'm back, Baby!

This pic is me at the goal weight 16 months ago. I was lifting, too, so the arms were fairly shapely. Glad I have this pic for reference. :)
Also! Aaron's pumpkins are looking so great! Marnie got a new car yesterday and it's really nice. The Sceamers are working on their house again, re-doing something on the living room. I am anxious to start doing little clean up/fix up projects around our house. The Halloween party is always a goal to get those types of things done. We are 79 days away from that so I need to get busy!

I can't believe how much I suck.

I recently remembered the two other blogs I started before and never kept up with. The first one was in 2006, before the blog sites were very good. Since I am technoligically challenged anyway, that didn't work out too well.

The next time was the end of 2007. I logged on the site so infrequently and actually forgot about it for so long that, by the time I remembered I had it, I could not remember my user name or password or even which email I had it associated with. After messing around with it for days and even Googling things I remembered about it so I could find it (but never did,) I gave up and started this one. So far, not much better.

There are lots of reasons I would like to maintain it better outside of the obvious reasons. I really enjoy looking back and knowing what the weather was like for some reason. Also, later when people tell me that they did something substantial at a certain time in their lives, I am anxious to remember what I was doing then as well. Several other small reasons keep me attempting to stay active with this. My journal is so hit or miss. I just need one constant.

Last week, I visited Island Park, Idaho with my oldest brother, Rick's family. Rick and Jill; Richie, Amanda, Wyatt & Eric; Jason, Katie, John & Tyler (John Tyler-our 10th president-hee hee); and Matt & Aimee Bell. I love being around those people. Really love it. It was my first time to meet Katie and her boys and Aimee Bell. I think, for a first meeting, thrown together in the woods for days, we all did very well and had a delightful time together.

Two reasons brought us together at this place at this time. 1. Jill's parents passed away, both within the past two years and this was a memorial for them in which Jill and her husband and sons spread the ashes of her beloved parents on an island in the Snake River at the place where she and her parents had been camping for decades. Very beautiful! Matt brought an ipod player and played The Beatles "Here Comes the Sun" and it was just beautiful. 2. Richie is about to deploy for his third tour; this time to Afghanastan. He'll be gone almost a year, leaving behind his wife and two sons. It isn't something any of us are looking forward to. I am so grateful for the time I got to spend with those wonderful, warm, beautiful, loving people.

I could write for days about that trip but I am playing catch up with the rest of my life.

Ciao for now.

Another blurry weekend

So Friday night started out with a bang. Got home from work, rounded everyone up and headed to eat at Rosa's then raced go-carts off Northside Drive with Aaron, Alex Andrea, Alex & Jordyn Hunt and all 5 screamers. We had a great time. Saturday, we got up early. Aaron and I took care of the animals and then messed in the garden for a bit. Then I rounded up the three girls and picked up Elaine, Aaron's mom, for our fun-filled day. First we went to the Amon Carter Museum so I could introduce Alex Andrea to my beloved, Frederic Remington. I think they all enjoyed it. I did as well but was sad that my favorite sculptures of his were put in the vault until who-knows-when. Bummer.

Next we headed to Big D to meet Aaron's Aunt Neva for lunch at Cafe Express on McKinney. That place is so nice with a really pretty patio with waterfalls and fountains. We caught the trolley and got the tour and then picked up some delicious cupcakes before heading out of Dallas. On our way home, we stopped by Cowboys Stadium, which was hosting the post world cup soccer game between USA and Mexico so the area was full of excitement. We took pictures and then bought souvenirs. Finally we headed home and, after some serious confusion with Aaron, I took all three girls to Perrin to stay the night. I got some good pictures of the Parker County Courthouse on the way home (I love that endeavor) and then crashed with the tv and some snacks.

Sunday, Aaron and I went to Starbucks, then came home and cleaned a little. Then I packed up and headed to lunch with Kandice and little, baby Mia. Followed that up with a drive back to Perrin to meet the girls for a trip to Unks Lake. On the way, took pictures of the beautiful trees & stepped on a thistle which went through my flip-flop and into the ball of my right foot. Ouch! Unks Lake was really fun. We all had a blast. After a fill up and some refreshments, we took Ashley & Chris home, helped unload their new pool table and then I brought all three girls back with me. We hung out at the screamers and then I went to pick up pizza and we all just hung out and talked. I haven't laughed that much in a while. I really enjoyed my time with everyone this weekend.

Now I am excited to get a good work week in. New clients I am a wantin!

Oh, what a slacker. Honestly, I sit here and wonder where in the world the past two days went. Life is such a blur sometimes. I think since the last time I wrote, I have had a park board meeting which went very well, talked to my brother, Steven, who is moving here from Vegas, worked late, shopped, missed going to Six Flags with the Screamers and Alex Andrea and took my cat, Sioux, to the vet. He may have an infection but it's nothing major.

Well, it finally got hot this summer. Yep, we're in the 100's. I am not complaining. 1. I adore summer and the heat that comes with it. A.D.O.R.E! 2. We have had so much rain that things stayed on the cool side for a while. Even if it's 100 until September, it's still cooler than normal.

While perusing the net today (seems so archaic to say it that way) I came across this pic and I love it. It looks cool and refreshing. I love her dress and the way the grass looks under her feet. This picture captivated me and lingered in my brain long enough to drag me back to it and copy it. So, for your viewing pleasure (but mostly for my own) here 'tis.

Run!

So I missed yesterday. Oh well. At least I ran for the first time in about 9 or 10 days but forgot to drink extra water so awoke with a major horrible heaadache that also caused a sick stomach at 3 ish in the a.m. Yuck! But at least I ran! Having Alex here is so wonderful and I wish she could stay forever, just be my kid, but I have gotten out of the normal routine. I need to find a way to make it jive so she's not bored sitting around while I run. What to do, what to do.
Aaron is so nice to me I just can't believe it. Skyler turned 16 today and we went to the screamers' for cake. Aaron worked in the garden and I went on the golf cart with Skyler, Hunter and Alex. We saw Roseanna and then went home, took a shower and fell asleep on the couch. Aaron tried to scare us by putting "The Ring" in the dvd player while we had fallen asleep so we woke up to a scary movie. It was kinda creepy. Funny thing is, he's been consumed by this one plant in the garden that we did not plant but is likely a left over seed from something that was planted last year. He thinks it's a watermelon and I think he's silly for thinking that. So last night I snuck out to the garden and placed this giant watermelon I bought under the vines for him to find. We played tricks on each other yesterday but he still does not know it. :)
Later!

Crazy life

The weekend was much too busy to log on and post anything. Friday, after a roller coaster of emotions over a friend and working late, I got home, quickly changed and went to the rodeo with Aaron, my niece Alex and our neighbors, the screamers.
It was interesting.
Then home, burned popcorn in the microwave, stunk up the whole house (it still stinks) made some pizza for Alex and Aaron then went to bed. Friday was a weird day.
Saturday was normal and we did our usual Starbucks deal. Grande no water chai with whipped for him (such a chic drink,) grande soy chai for me and a cinnamon apple spice for Ms. Alex.
Then we ran some errands, Sam's, met a client, went to Tran's then home and Aaron stayed home to work while Alex and I ran around some more. My offices (old and new) then Ross, Whataburger, Cupcake place and then on to Justin. Later, after a fun filled day we had scary movie night and pizza at the house since the races were rained out.
Sunday, we did the same Starbucks routine as always, dropped Aaron back at home to do yard work and then on to Steve's and Mom's to visit for a bit. Back home, cleaned and got ready for our country visit to Perrin. I always love going out there. Rode horses and went to Jacksboro for dinner on the square. Got another courthouse pic. Saw the milky way, jack rabbits and an owl. Fun day.
Now it's back to an action packed work week.
I have one thing that needs sorting out and one thing I know I will never figure out. Good times though!

Right on time

That's what Aaron always says when something happens just the way he wants it to. It's Friday and it came right on time.
Unlike with my journal, and for reasons still unclear to me, I never know what in the world I will write about here until my fingers start to fly. But it somehow comes to me.
Yesterday was rainy again and I need to check the records but I am pretty sure this is the rainiest July of my life in Texas. We've become so accustomed to planting things that can withstand our dry, hot summers that those poor things have achieved root rot and the flowers have wilted. Oh the irony.
After a productive day at work (my new office is working out quite well) and a WCR luncheon where I ran into all kinds of people I rarely see anymore, I raced home to pick up my lovely great-niece, Alex. Then we went to Justin to hang out with my brother, her grandfather, and my dad while they replaced the floor. That was loud. Later we went back home and watched What Happens in Vegas. I just love that movie.
Also, I texted a friend and laughed at myself because as much as I used to hate texting, the Blackberry has helped make this something very easy for me. Almost as fast as a keyboard.
It continued to rain and I put all the animals up. At least the pumpkins are benefitting from this weather. They look better than ever if we can just continue to keep the squash bugs at bay.
I am very much looking forward to the rodeo tonight. Alex's first! I love this place.

Already missed a day

I started this thinking it would make things easier in lieu of my journal but then realized there are things I don't want to put out into the world about my feelings. However, I have noticed that when I write about things that have happened, people I see, places I go, on a specific day, I tend to remember the feelings as well. As I am sure most people do. I often miss days on end with my journal but was hoping that would not be the case if I had the blog to quickly type the goings-on of my life. Then I could still write about the feelings in the journal but have a more consistant log on here. Then I already missed a day, two days in. It ain't looking good.
The 4th events are over, most of my out-of-town relatives have gone back home and things are settling down again. My great-niece is still here, staying with us until 7-16. Two whole weeks with her and I am very glad for it. We hardly know one another so I knew this would be difficult at times; lots of silent moments. But we are really getting to know each other. Aaron has made that easier. He's the funny one in the family and he is good at breaking the ice.
I beat everyone at Monopoly last night. I remember as a kid how our Monopoly games would last for days because we would bail one another out of bankruptcy over and over. This game was only about 5 1/2 collective hours between two evenings.
Aaron chased Alex with a spider and scared her to death. After his workout we went downtown to eat at Pei Wei, which is always good. Then we finally finished (stayed awake through the rest of) The Village. Alex said it was not as scary as it was interesting. I think so as well. So that was Wednesday. Tomorrow my nephew, Jason, will be 31 and I wish I were in SLC to celebrate with him.
Until tomorrow~ (maybe)

Step one of 222

I got on and noticed the time!