Summer!

I have always loved Summer. Even though Fall brings a welcome reprieve from the heat and I love its colors, Summer still beats it to me. While Spring is such a refreshing change from the bitter cold and grey, Summer wins hands down. I don't mind the heat. I love the way it soaks into my bones. After several days of 100+ degrees, the puffy clouds sure are nice. They do compliment the blue sky and what is left of the green grasses. (Most have turned a shade of green-yellow from the heat or been harvested already.) There is a field near our house, several adjacent fields actually, that are covered in sunflowers from Spring until late Fall some years. They showed up the year my father-in-law, Willis, passed away. Sunflowers always remind me of him. He has been gone four years now. Two years ago we purchased some land a county away. We have had fun working out there and most weekends, we take the horses with us and let them run, play and eat the plentiful grass. Early this year a plant popped up in the low sandy part of the property where we work the horses. Aaron decided to leave it to see what sprang up. It was a lonely, perfect sunflower. Just one big plant. It was like Willis was smiling on us when it finally bloomed. Summer is so sweet.

A year blew by

I thought I would be more dedicated to this blog since I was full of regret over my past two blogs. But here we are a year and a day later and I am shooting 15% for the year. Horrible! I'm not even in the competition!

What a year it's been. I wish I had blogged more of all the wonderful fun we've had. My nephew is back from the Middle East; safe at home in Michigan. We bought a horse that I have fallen in love with. I took lots of horse whispering lessons. I had the dreaded 37th birthday (I'm over it...really) and survived and then got pregnant! All of this while falling more in love with Aaron and being awe struck at how much he does for me. I don't know anybody else in the world who would do so much to make me happy and help my dreams come true. I constantly wrack my brain to come up with things to do for him that will measure up but I am not as good as he is.

Yesterday he was in OKC for work until very late last night. I was home alone and instead of sofa surfing, which is what I usually do while he's away, I walked Odelay two plus miles to the arena in Old Town Haslet, worked her, rode her, got a snow cone, then walked her back. We were both exhausted. I think she had fun. I'm looking forward to tonight. Just him and me. That's the best part of my day.

Maybe I can beat 15% this year. Here we go!

The angst of a summer without Cowboys.

As it were, we would be less than 30 days away from training camp. As it stands, who the heck knows if there will even be such a thing. (Unless of course we all ditch the NFL for Pop Warner.) In lieu of contaminating the world with my angry opinion on the lockout, I have chosen to focus my energy on memorable and season changing moments of training camps past.

And the winners are....

#10. Ratliff/Colombo duke it out. On film.

# 9. Dez suffers an ankle strain during his very first week of camp. He performed well throughout the season but, boy, wasn't that an ugly precursor to an injury plagued year.

# 8. Tuna moving camp back to Cali, which means.....ROAD TRIP!

# 7. Speaking of said road trip, seeing, in person, Quincy throw and dodge bullets like a pro and thinking, "This guy might be really good." And he was. Just better at illegal stuff than football.

# 6. My picture, with Willis, in front of Bob Lilly's Super Bowl duds.

# 5. T.O. donning a bike helmet and a Lance Armstrong Team jersey while on the stationary bike. I got his humour at that moment and have liked him ever since.

# 4. Switzer packs some loaded heat at DFW airport. Those OU boys just ain't that smart. ;)

# 3. Cartwright's rendition of the day Landry moved Mel to offense. Three and out and a validated plane ride home for Thomas Wade.

# 2. Herschel returns! (Btw, he also returned a kick for a 90 something yard td against the Jags the next season and I was there!)

And finally, the most memorable/notable training camp moment for Super Fan Shan........

# 1. Summer '95, at St. Ed's, Charles Haley hit the sled facing me on the other side of a 4 foot chain link fence and his sweat got all over me. I said, "Hey Charles!" He said, "Hey."

Three of hearts

For a pretty long time our little family has been Aaron, me and a bunch of feathered and furry babies. Some with hooves, some with claws, some with paws. Now our family will be three humans together with the aforementioned motley crew. Yep! We're having a baby! Small Ferrell is due in early January. I am 12 weeks along and peering down 2nd trimester lane. It seems more and more official every day but way more so since Sunday, when we told my parents and then again on Monday, when AF told his mother. Today I told some friends and the rest of my family. I am so excited. Aaron is, too. I am also scared about so much. Getting huge is one cause of freak out. Followed by permanent skin damage. I won't even mention the things that cause me shortness of breath over delivery. I am sure it's the same for all women and so I am insignificant in my mental state. However! Once it is happening to you, it causes your pulse to race and you suddenly ask the same questions women have been asking for years but now the answers scare the shizz out of you. Beyond that, of course I am scared that the baby will have any sort of trouble. I try very hard not to think that way or go there at all but there are moments when it creeps into my mind. I do daydream about what the baby will look like. I hope it is like Aaron. He has beautiful features. Mostly, though, I am happy and content. I am not overly anxious about the nine months being over. Experiencing all that my body does in order to produce this little person has been incredibly interesting and actually pretty fun. I am glad that we get almost a year to prepare our minds, home & lives for this happy change. I am grateful we're not like chickens. 28 days later, you have a baby hatching out. That is not nearly enough time. Cheers (with water) to expecting!

Hey Babay! It's your birthday!

This here is the birthday boy.

Happy birthday, Mr. Ferrell!

I am anxious to get off work today and

head home as fast I can to surprise my Baby

with his gifts and celebrate

until he's plum tuckered out.

I hope he has an awesome day.

love love love

Good vs Evil

Do you ever feel like you are a semi-constant personified version of good vs evil? Lately, I do. I feel that way as I stare at the half eaten cup of pink frosting on my desk while thinking about the pains of my workouts and the water I promised myself I'd drink but haven't. I feel that way each day when I come home from work, burdened with all the things I was supposed to accomplish but got side tracked reading about Egypt's emancipation or Lyndsay Lohan's impending arrest. I feel that way as I step into my complete mess of a closet, again, after telling myself, day after day after day, that tomorrow I will pick this mess up! I feel that way each time I spend too much at a department store the day after I messed up a bill or my bank account. Even as I read a post from a woman who, while she drives me absolutely bonkers with her evident ignorance, tries hard every day to literally live a life that Jesus would be proud of in the best (albeit incredibly self righteous) way she possibly can, I was left feeling as I did at 15 (wanting desperately to live a life of virtue/find a kinship with God,) yet all the while, my mind continued to drift to a place I have been both trying to get to and simultaneaously avoid consistently every day for a while now. I complicate things for myself. I create my own stress and worry. I long for the simple and then instantly crave the satisfaction of the temporary pleasure offered by the wicked apple. I hope I make the right decisions for myself and others today. Each day I hope that; that I will be able to restrict my guilty pleasures to diet coke.

Yuck Mouth

I got my tooth pulled/cut out yesterday. I am still feeling the lingering effects of the drugs they gave me. I am bewildered as to why anybody would want to do drugs. I don't like the way I feel when my brain won't work the way I want it to or when I can't type or speak the way I want. I don't like the feeling of coming down and it is certainly not worth the high which basically just had me pain free but activity free as well for hours and hours. No thanks! But the tooth is gone as is the toothache/earache/headache that accompanied it for a while now. I am looking forward to being completely pain free and, once the rest of this drug stuff wears off, back to my normal self.
Battery died on my car today so Aaron is coming to my rescue, again. Poor guy.
I missed seeing Nicc last night because of the tooth repair. She was in town for one evening and now back in Houston. I will see her in two weeks when I go visit to see her daughter, Lexi, show her pig. I can't wait.
Meanwhile, my house is perfectly clean and almost completely organized on the inside. The garage is another story. I am looking forward to selling some things to simplify things around there. So much clutter. I am liking the way it feels to come home to a nice clean place. I let it get out of hand for a short while, which is too easy to do when you have so many animals.
It's only Tuesday. I am ready for the weekend. But grateful for the sunshine and my sweet friends and family.
Today, Brandy buries her mother. Tuesdays.....

Random musings

I didn't know exactly what to write about today because this week has been less than perdy. I choose to look back on it and laugh (mostly) about all the wacky, painful or just plain irritating crapola that took place in my life. Also, as I debated over what to actual type out here, several little random thoughts pinged through my noggin. They are, in no particular order, the following:

a. (I really like the look of a lower case "a" vs an upper case "A" but -oops- that has absolutely nothing to do with my list.) As do most girls, I have a better day when my hair is good. A pencil will help me achieve that if my hair is unruly. I have a blue pencil at work that rarely is used for its intended purpose. Instead, it holds my hair up remarkable well and I am grateful for it.

2. I got my job because my mother was in this line of work. It was supposed to be the job that got me through college but the market was booming, they hurriedly advanced my position, I suddenly made more money than I would as a teacher (which was my major at the time) so I stuck it out. Since, I have often said that the title business is like the mafia. Generally there is some sort of nepotism, although I did start at the (almost) very bottom and did genuinely have to work my way up. Also, once you're in it, there's no getting out. Hence the mafia reference. In the title business, well the escrow side anyway, you work numbers all day long. As advanced as technology has become, I still use my trusty old ten key every day and, because of that I reckon, I prefer the ten key portion of the keyboard rather than the numbers along the top even when I am typing numbers as part of my text. I'm a ten key girl!

Also. I really enjoy sweets. Even though they add padding to my derriere, even though I have a toothache that won't be fixed until Monday, even though I know for sure sugar is bad for my immune system and diabetes runs in my family, I can not make myself stop with the dang sugar. Just talking about it makes me want to eat this Reece's heart that is gently calling my name from the sack on the floor behind my desk.

Finally. It's Stock Show time here in Cowtown, Texas. (I must clarify the Texas part because, as I was made shockingly aware as an adult, other states have towns that claim "Cowtown" as a nickname, too.) My picture above is the same as my bio picture in blogland. It is me leaving the Stock Show two years ago. I love this town, I love the stock show and I love that we are going again tonight and tomorrow to watch the BLM Mustangs perform and then *possibly* purchase one of my very own. It's doubtful that I will find the perfect one that is also young enough to still be trained but the hope remains.

So I bid you adieu. Work to finish on my ten key with my hair twisted and pierced by a blue pencil, sweet snacks to consume, then "it's off again to the rodeo." (Thank you Mr. Green.)

Oh but first, here's a quick recap of the week from aych eee double hockey stix:

AF and I got in an argument. A couple of times.

I proved to myself, yet again, that I just don't listen. Still. (Started the dishwasher on heat with AF's laptop on the counter right above it.)

My tub faucet finally broke and AF had to replace the whole thing which wasted his whole evening yet he did not complain once, but instead, proudly showed me his work and my new, much more beautiful and efficient faucet. (me: it's so pretty. him: who cares how it looks, turn that baby on and see how fast the water comes out now. LOVE HIM)

TOOTH ACHE! And, just so you know, Vicadin pretty much is useless for pain but, according to all the research I have uncovered, it's unbeatable at reducing the life of your liver.

Aaron's TOOTH ACHE! But he's a trooper and just deals with pain like it's a pesky fly instead of the bounding freight train that is my pain.

There is some scary stuff going on in the women's locker room at pretty much every gym. Scary gross! Banging out razors on lockers and naked, sweaty rears directly on the benches. Oh my!

Happy weekend!

~Super Fan Shan

Currently obsessed

So, Aaron had a dentist appointment yesterday, too, it turns out. He had to have a root canal that lasted over two hours. Poor thing. Then, being the Super Man he is, he ran a 24 minute 5k last night. He makes me look bad. But he also gives me strength and inspiration. Then he took care of me while his tooth hurt but he didn't complain. Last night was horrible for me. The tooth problem I have created an infection behind my ear and the nerves that are linked to all of that somehow run up the side of my head. The pain is worse than my motorcycle wreck. Worse. Pain. Ever. No really, ever. But it's over now. I have been on antibiotics for 24 hours now, the inflammation is down and things are really looking up.

Besides tooth, tooth, tooth, the only other thing on my mind is horse, horse, horse. Everywhere I look, there is a horse or a saddle or a parade with horses or a cowboy or something else that reminds me just how much I want to find my horse. I can't wait to meet her.

Aaron is going to Streetman today and taking Brennan with him so he can hang out with his paternal grandparents in Corsicana. Then tomorrow Aaron is going to OKC, which means he won't be home until very late. I don't like it when he's gone but I do get things done. I always plan things to do while he's away so the time goes by faster. If I just sit and watch t.v., the clock ticks by much slower. So I am making an apron for Charity Fredeking tomorrow to fulfill 1/5 of my commitment to make handmade gifts for 5 people this year. I hope to do more than that, but I made the commitment on FB, copying a friend, in hopes that it would keep me accountable for doing it. So far, I made a really cute bag for Charity to accompany her apron. I'll post pictures when they are both finished. Maybe tomorrow night!

Tooth!

It's difficult to see but that tooth on the left has a long crack in it all the way to the root. I have been in enormous pain. Finally, today, I went to the dentist, got a shot of Novocain, some antibiotics and pain medication, along with the bad news that there is no saving this tooth because of the length of the crack. I have been referred to an oral surgeon who will put me under, pull both parts of the broken tooth and then fit me with an implant. Total cost of all of this business....SIX THOUSAND DOLLARS! So the search begins immediately for a cheaper life experience.

Worse than that, Aaron & I are not on the same page lately. Well, we are, then we're not, then we are again. All that back and forth is more difficult than not at all, I think. I am eagerly anticipating the moment where we see eye to eye again. I enjoy life much more when that is the case.

Way worse than all of that, my old friend Brandy lost her mother due to a heart attack last night. It was very unexpected. Brandy lives far away from me in Minnesota. I wish so much that I could be there with her every day for a while to comfort her and take care of things for her. She was really close with her mom and I know she will suffer much from this. She also lost her beloved dog of almost 20 years just two weeks ago. It is almost too much for anyone to bear and I feel for her.

Oh Tuesday...wretched wretched Tuesday. It's my least favorite day of the week. Way more so than evil Monday. Bad things always happen on a Tuesday. Always have. I dread Tuesdays.

Maya...or something just like her.

This is my dream horse. Upon first glance, you may not recognize all the amazing qualities that make her perfect and unique. First, her coloring is exactly what I have always wanted; very light buckskin, very dark tail & mane AND cannons, stout chest, slender belly, large face. She's the one!
There are two problems with Maya. #1 - she lives in California & I live in Texas. It is usually very hard on a horse to travel such a long distance and she would have a hard time acclimating to our extreme heat and humidity. #2 - she is a wild Mustang purchased from the Bureau of Land Management and trained for two years. 90% of the time, she is a perfect horse. 10% of the time, the wild side comes out and she bucks people off...including her very experienced trainer. You never know when the wild side will come calling so Aaron has nixed the possibility of getting this perfect horse.
The search continues. I could have a hundred horses. They are for sale for very good prices everywhere I look. But I want the perfect horse for me. Not just some horse. If I am going to take the time to work it, clean it, tend to it, feed it, ride it and it's the only horse I am likely to ever have, I want it to be exactly what I want.
We are going to the BLM Mustang sale this weekend at Will Rogers and maybe there will be a relative of Maya's there for me to purchase who is under 2 years old and still trainable. Fingers crossed. :)

It's COLD!!!!

As much as I can't stand it when people state the obvious, as much as I hate when people complain about things that can not change, even as much as I loathe not being able to find the good in something, I am going to do all of the above. Now.

I HATE THE COLD! I only like cold weather when I am skiing in it, and then only for that week. That is one reason why I choose to continue to live in this wonderful place. Not only do I not like it, I am one of those people who physically can't deal with it. It is painful. It hurts my hands and my fingers do not operate well. It hurts my back. As I type this, my shoulders and neck are drawn up from my muscles being overworked due to the continuous, heat generating spasms they have been forced to do for days now. The cold hinders my mental capacity as well. AND! I just want to sleep. Maybe I am part bear. Really, I am not joking, though. It's been five days now of miserable cold, grey, wet, windy, fierce, horrible cold. It has not warmed above freezing in that time period. Pity it can not be warm every day. Even though I have acknoweldged, and said before, that I would never appreciate the warmth of Summer if not for the bitter Winter. My nephews say, "There is no such thing as cold. There is only absence of heat." Take me to the Sun!!! I am absent of heat! GRRRRRR

Wonderland

People are amazingly creative and I totally dig it.

Side note: Pandora blares in the background and now "Woman" by Wolfmother has rolled onto my Cage the Elephant Radio Station. hmm. This song is one of many that have forever been changed for me thanks to Guitar Hero. I only hear the guitar part now. Only.

We now return you to the (semi...well, not quite) regularly scheduled blog. I wish I were this creative. I wish I had ideas all my own. Occassionally I do but they are not creative in an artsy way. They are only creative in a practical way. For example, latches on gates to prevent escape artist, tiny chickens; supsended train tracks for a friend's Christmas train around her outdoor pine, etc.

But I see creativity expressed in this way and I am always lured in by the uniquity, the colors, the lighting, the scene, the mood. Then I often attempt to plan some sort of party where I could copy this scene practically. The only party that ever ever ever comes to mind (likely because it's the only way I could make these silly urges make any sense,) is a Mad-Hatter party. Wonderland is a marvelous thing and I would give anything if my friends shared my interest in "pretending" like when we were kids. Wouldn't the world be a better place?

Should I shoot up this town hall meeting to get my point across? Heaven's no...I think I'll throw another tea party and insist we all dress like French royalty from 1709 or dress like an animal you might find in the canyons. See? Brilliant! And peaceful. That's why it's pretend.

I am broken

I felt it coming. I have asked for days. It came. I am broken.